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by | Nov 5, 2015 | A Mom's Heart, God Honoring Marriage, Making a Home, My Spiritual Walk, Parenting God's Way, The inward life
Every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish one tears it down with he own hands.
Proverbs 14:1 tells us … “Every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish one tears it down with he own hands.”
We wives and mothers have great power. We play a major part in building our homes. The question that we must ask ourselves very honestly is, “Do I build up or do I tear down?”
I build up or I tear down with my words.
I build up or I tear down with my attitude.
I build up or I tear down with my actions.
I hold the ability to set the daily tone for my home. The saying, “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!” is often truer than we would want to believe. How do I send my husband off to work each day? How do I greet my children as they wake up or as they return home? Is the tone of my home one of peace (though it may not be quiet)? Is there tension and strife cutting through the air? Is it an atmosphere of laughter rather than complaining? Are kind words heard more than whining (maybe even my whining)?
If your first thoughts after reading this is …” This is just too much responsibility. I am not perfect! I am not going to get it right all the time… I know that I often tear down rather than build up”. Well, I agree. But you know, this verse begins with words of hope and the answer to our dilemma. It begins with …every wise woman.. We can build our homes when we are being wise women. Jesus is Wisdom personified, and when He dwells within us we can have His wisdom because we have HIM. His WORD (the Bible) gives wise instruction in every page and as His Holy Spirit teaches us and empowers the application of His Word to my every day life, I can become that wise woman who builds her home and thus blesses all who live there.
I do not want splinters in my hands or splinters in the hearts around me. I do not want to tear down my home with my own hands. I do not want to be a foolish woman. Lord, teach me to be a wise woman so I may build in my home, Your Kingdom. May my home speak of Jesus and bring You Glory…
1Peter 3:3-4 tells us to, “Let not yours be the (merely) external adorning with elaborate interweaving and knotting of the hair, the wearing of jewelry, or change of clothes; but let it be the inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a quiet and gentle and peaceful spirit, which (is not anxious or wrought up, but) is very precious in the sight of God. (Amp. Version)
How can we adorn ourselves inwardly? Seems the world around us focuses entirely on outward adornment, especially the adornment of women. The fashion and cosmetics industries make millions, promising to make us beautiful on the outside. Not that I don’t appreciate a little makeup or a flattering garment, after all the verse says our adornment is not to be ” merely” outward. But the attention, time and money given to outward adornments often greatly outweigh the time, thought, and prayer given to inward adorning…
We know God looks on the heart and not on the outside. So how are you adorning your heart? What am I doing to adorn my hidden person, that deepest part of my heart that only God sees? These words in 1 Peter tells us clearly what is precious, so precious to our God, and with which we are to adorn our hearts. It is the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit. Who would not desire unfading charm? Who would not desire to be ruled by a peaceful spirit? Who would not want to be gentle with our words, our lives? These verses are not talking about a certain personality, but a matter of ones’ spirit, of ones’ hidden person.
Later in 1 Peter 3 it speaks of the women who have gone before us who “HOPED in GOD”. This is key to having that gentle and peaceful spirit. As we put our hope, our wholehearted trust, our confidence in our God, then and only then, will we have this inward adorning. When we trust Him, our fears and anxiety are driven away and His gentleness and peace rules our hearts. We can even trust God with our husbands and their decisions when our hearts are ruled by Him.
Will our hearts look like this every day? No, it is a fight to go deep and trust long. We will fail. We will want to cover up and adorn the outward and show others how beautiful we are. But when the makeup comes off and we look at ourselves in the mirror we will be encouraged to look deeper. We will not want to stay the same, but lay that hidden part of us before our Creator Father God and let Him add the strokes of beauty, the colors of His life, and the Truth of His Word as He adorns us inwardly.
My husband never seems to want any gifts and if he does, it will certainly be something very practical. I love to give gifts so this can be frustrating at times. So what is it that I may give him that shows my love and would also be happily received by him? I think Ephesians 5:33b informs me of a precious gift which costs no money, but would be priceless to my husband. That gift is RESPECT… This is what it says:
“let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband (that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly.)” Ephesians 5:33b Amp.
Wow… that verse in the amplified version says much!!! God knows what my husband needs, so He gives me as his wife this command to respect him. Notice that there are no adjectives describing what kind of husband to respect. I am to respect him in his God given role in our marriage, whether he is always fulfilling that role or not. I often share with young women to marry a respectable man because it makes it much easier for her to obey this scripture. I believe that your husband will grow and blossom as you share with him daily this biblical gift of respect!
So whether it is Valentine’s Day or just each ordinary day remember to respect your husband in the way that Ephesians 5:33b describes. This may help you or you could write your own reminder.
R–Rightfully honor your husband
E–Esteem him above all others
S–Shine when you are with him
P–Praise him often, preferring him
E–Eyes looking at him when he speaks
C–Calling his name out in prayer daily
T–Treating him with love and kindness
If a little respect goes a long way,imagine what a lot of respect does? So wrap up RESPECT for your husband and let him receive it each day. You both will be glad you did!